Because Loving Him Hurts
by Fanphasegirl
Summary: Melody Cripps is in love with Greg but thinks it doesn't matter. Then When Greg's lab blows up she never leaves his side and Sarah comes in to get the question she's always wondered but had yet to ask. Melody manages to get her say in. Note: False character written just for fun. Marking it OC


Summary: Melody Cripps is in love with Greg but thinks it doesn't matter. Then When Greg's lab blows up she never leaves his side and Sarah comes in to get the question she's always wondered but had yet to ask. Melody manages to get her say in.

Note: False character written just for fun.

Show: CSI

Character: Greg Sanders, Sarah Sidle, OC

Rating: M for mentions of sexual activity

Because loving him hurts

The room was silent but all Melody could hear was that god awful _KA-BOOM!_ In her ears. The glass shattering from the force of Greg's lab exploding. The last thing she remembered was seeing Sarah on falling Gil trying to speak with him no doubt. Right before she could look to her left to see Greg everything went to hell. She didn't even remember the blood curdling scream of his name that left her voice so raw. Catherine was the one who had brought the tears to her attention the other day while she was in the room questioning Greg. Naturally he had no clue she was there and she had asked everyone on staff not to say a word; she knew someone would speak eventually but why not at least try to prolong it?

Now here she was sitting in the chair with a blanket the nurses had given her, her knees pulled tight to her chest. Thank god she was as flexible as the showgirls she'd met working in Vegas. They knew her by reputation from Medical Career based meetings. She worked as a nurse tech. who also doubled as a newbie in the forensics labs. She worked on the same shift as Greg because she had preferred graveyard and Gil would always have her back. She felt like one of the team, for the first time in her entire life. Greg was just another perk. Funny, sweet, honest. She met him once and knew he was different; at least in her eyes. Every day she went to talk to him for a couple hours at a time. Every day he made her would shine a little bit brighter.

Melody closed her eyes and took a deep breathe. She could smell him from the few feet away she was. She opened them and look at his face, which had been facing her for the last three hours. He had been sleeping for so much longer than that. When he did wake up, it was usually to stir or shake off a nightmare. Once in a while, when she felt brave enough, she would place a hand on his forehead and run her hand back through his hair and whisper to him.

"It's ok dear, no one can hurt you here. I'm here, go to sleep." Sometimes he'd whimper, sometimes he would open his eyes then close them just as quickly. He was responsive to her, which made her chest ping and her stomach curl. Melody was careful about what she said cuz she knew that patients can still hear you and Greg was known for being a good actor. She smiled at how he stared to drool on her pillow and reached out to pat his head when she heard the door open. She kept her head towards Greg but shifted her eyes to the clock in front of her on the wall; 10:39 p.m.

"Hey, Mel. Not surprised your still here. You always were protective." Melody didn't have to look to know it was Sarah. Her day off, couldn't sleep since she just got done with a case and now here to bug the crap outta her and Greg. She was so ready to play the he can't have too many visitors card, or the get out or you can be an example on the morgue examination table for rookies card. She always messed with Sarah that way. She was in love with Gil, who was everything Melody had ever dreamed of in a father. Mel was orphaned and abandoned so family was often too short a pickings for her. Melody took a deep breath and sighed her exhale to exaggerate her not so well hidden irritation.

"Helloooo Saraaaaah." She mumbled pretending to sound tired. She rolled her eyes thinking _Maybe Greg can help perfect my acting._ That got her to smirk to herself and finally look at the other woman.

"Well don't you just look like a bag of sunshine." She spoke sarcastically.

"Still makes me brighter than you dumb braud." Mel shot back.

"Ya well for one so bright you sure need a shower." She waved a hand in front of her face indicating an unpleasant odor.

"Sorry not me, Greg hasn't showered though. Plus Guests can use the bathroom." Melody pointed down to her dearest medicated sleeper. That made Sarah giggle. What got Melody on her guard was when Sarah stood on the other side of the bed and locked her eyes on Greg with the one indescribable look Mel hated most. To her it always meant trouble; emotional this is why I hate your dumbass bee-yatch trouble.

"Wow, you really care about him don't you?" asked Sarah. There it was; fighting words.

"Ya, ya I do. What's it matter to you? Do you always think you have a right to other peoples' business when they're not a suspect in a case?" Towards the end Melody raised her voice a bit but kept it low so not to wake Greg. She knew she sounded as pissed as she felt because she was doing the one thing everyone in the lab made fun of her for; making herself sound like the young female version of the godfather. Damn.

"Hey, Hey I didn't mean anything by it." Sarah put up her hands defensively to call Mel off. No doubt her 'dad' told her about that trick. "I was just…I don't know envious I guess." She gave a nervous chuckle.

"I'm sorry too."

Melody looked down slightly embarrassed by what she did. She used the term slightly loosely because she always followed her gut. Her instincts and her ambition are what got her this far and she promised herself a long time ago that she would never go back on 'em. She knew she got mad because Sarah was the reason she gave up Greg so long ago. Sure they flirted but he flirted with all the pretty girls. And when the other pretty girls like Sarah were around, he flirted with them over her. She wasn't about to play second choice but she couldn't help but go back and do it all over again. Maybe that's why she insisted on staying. No one else would get in her way here. NO competition meant no crying to get to sleep. Damn him. Damn her. Damn fucking everything. Melody fekt her face heat up in rage and her fists clench around each other for restraint. She pushed and pushed so she would never break. Dad was persistent about emotional control. She refused to disappoint him by being like everyone else.

"Mel, you ok?" Sarah's question broke Melody's thought train.

"Ya I'm sorry?" she sat back and pulled the blanket over her shoulders just under her neck. Sarah shifted her eyes downward then back to Mel before she spoke again.

"How do you do it?" She asked monotone, as she often does when confused or constipated; Mel could never tell the difference. Then Sarah spoke again a bit louder.

"How do you just leave things this way? I mean, doesn't it _bother_ you? Especially at times like this?"

"No!" Melody caught herself before she spoke further. _Remember Greg._

"No. Unlike you I can separate myself- "

"Bullshit." Sarah interrupted. "Come on there's gotta be something more to it."

"Ok how's this? I'm not stupid and- and selfish. I don't demand what I can't have then stomp my feet when reality hits me in the balls because the other person has a mind of their own. I don't push for something as complicated as a relationship when there are so few things that can come out of so much risk. I certainly don't think that pestering and bothering the guy is gonna get me anywhere when he can't even see the way I feel." Melody felt tears in her eyes. They burned and scared so deep she blinked hard to make them go away without falling. She wouldn't give smug Sarah the satisfaction. After all that's all it was...pestering. She wanted Greg to love her she really did. But Greg was Greg and she was not capable of adding to that. She couldn't even catch the smell of burning plastic like he had before the explosion. How was she going to make him happy? There was no way.

She spoke again when Sarah stayed quite. This time more calmly, though Sarah would swear it was cold-heartedly if you ever asked her. What no one would ever know was that she spoke this way because the truth was too painful. It also made her feel belittled and pitiful.

"It hurts more to be without him than it does to force myself to smile for him. If I act like nothing is wrong sooner or later I have to believe it. I have to because…no one can say otherwise. How could they if they don't know?" She looked Sarah straight in the eye to emphasize her point, or to gain power back in the situation; Mel didn't know the difference.

"Then again how would understand?" She said spitefully, her tone low and bitter.

"I guess I wouldn't. But even though my opinion is different…I guess I can understand why someone would love you. You're scared of change. But you're more scared of what the consequences are for that change. It's your motivation. So ya do what you gotta. Maybe someday Greg will see you the way you want. He will certainly be paying attention to you after this stunt. I mean…Who stays with someone this long if they didn't love them to bits?" Sarah awkwardly put her hands in her pockets while looking at her feet. She turned to her right and walked out of the room, closing the door behind her. Mel watch until the door was shut before looking back to Greg. He had moved his hand up to his face again as he had done so many time before since first being admitted. Melody brushed her fingers through his hair and sat back lowered so her head was on the top of the chairs back. She fell asleep finally letting the tears run down her face. She dreamt of Greg…and his stupid goofy smile.

When she woke up the next morning, it was only due to the insistent tugging of her blanket. Melody's first instinct was to swat the hand away. What followed was an emotionless, sarcastic voice.

"Ow. That hurt Mello" Mel recognized it as Greg and without opening her eyes she smiled. Even if she didn't know the voice by now, Greg was the only one who called her Mello.

"Then you should use the rule taught in preschool. Only touch the willing."

"This is Vegas _everyone_ is willing as long as it's the right person. And I am the one that gets you willing _and_ hot."

"Don't give yourself so much credit. I get hot cus I want to not for you." She opened her eyes and was rewarded with his lovely sparkling orbs. _Even when he looks like crap he looks flawless._ She thought

"Weeell," he started, "If that's the case, I guess that means you got hot for me cus you got it bad for me." He winked and then spoke again.

"I woke you cus the chair doesn't look like its helping your back. Come sleep on the bed with me. Geez the assholes that work here could have at least gotten you a cot or something." The last bit Mel was certain he had meant to be muttered to himself. Never the less she replied as she got up from her chair. She leaned over and slithered herself onto his bed slowly, one limb at a time.

"They were out so the chair was to only option. I also didn't want to hog your space these things are tiny as hell the only way to fit two people is for you to get in me first," Greg snorted a short breathy laugh at that, "And finally, it's been a few days my back gave up long ago."

As she laid on her right side next to him he shifted to get more on his left as their faces soon came to be about five inches apart. He brought his hand up to go around her waist as she placed her hand atop his head, her elbow on his bicep as she combed his hair with her fingers. _Here we are again, I just can't get more than a simple tease and friend-zone can I?_ She though. Breathe mingling, eyes gazing, they spoke in whispers from then on. Audible to each other like precious secrets… or precious memories; Mel didn't care about the difference, as far as she was concerned there was none.

"You could have just got in with me. I could have cuddled you longer. So…what were you and Sarah talking about last night?"

Melody felt her face heat up from the embarrassment as well as the fury that the mention of Sarah's name had caused. "What did you hear?"

"Just that you love someone."

"Why do you care? I can't get you a number I doubt you know them." Melody felt her eyes tear again. _Damn._ Greg brought his forehead to Mel's as he slowly brought his face in at the nose. One light small kiss that lasted no more than two seconds tops. He spoke first.

"Maybe I wouldn't…but I know you and I know you know me. I didn't go further before because I thought you weren't into anything more than the flirting. That why I hit on the other girls in the lab. I didn't mean to make you feel so bad." He looked away with just his eyes for a second before he continued, Mel watched his every move still in a shock state.

"If you let me…I could make up for lost time. I do love you and I want you to stay. But only if you want to."

She smiled as she wrapped her arm tightly around him. She felt him do the best he could to do the same only easing up when she heard his grunts of pain. He had been injured. She kept close as she kissed him rough and passionately for as long as forever; ok maybe a minute.

Hell ya she was staying. This was it. This is what she wanted. Everything had been worth it. It didn't matter what everyone else thought; especially Sarah, if anything this was her chance to brag about Greg. And the best part was she already knew what to say when they all asked why the hell she was so fine with getting with him after all the ignorance he had shown.

 _Because loving him hurts, but leaving him behind hurts more_.


End file.
